YELLOW

These are the infamous yellow shoes. They were going to take me places, (more specifically the bar last saturday night) I'm not sure if I had a momentary lapse of judgement, but who in their right mind wears 5 inch heels to the bar. I couldn't say no though. I had to have the bright yellow platform patent leather. HAD TO! I also had to pay extra to have them rush delivered. You would think with all the love I had for them during my impulse internet shopping spree that they would not be in the garbage next to the day old hamburger helper. I would like to enter exhibit A.



This is why they have been so cruelly discarded. While gracefully exiting the bar at the end of the night my shoes mistakenly thought that the top step was the bottom and skipped over the last three.



As you can see I had a wonderful support system throughout the whole thing. Jennifer held my hand through her laughter, Melissa just stood in pure amazement of my shoe's betrayal, and Stacy and Jill captured as many pictures of my gracefull exit as possible. A police officer even came to my assistance, to which we had to explain that I was not drunk but made a horrbile mistake of wearing the wrong shoes to the bar.
After all of this I thought my humility was over, but ofcourse someone so sweetly pointed out on the plane that I was the only flight attendant he had ever met that had a skinned up knee. NO WHERE IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION DOES IT SAY THAT I HAVE TO BE COORDINATED!!!!



After witnessing that I am sure you are all put off by the color yellow. Do not fear, it came through during my pie baking.



It's beautiful, I know it!

Bouncy ball

I NEED to know what happened to all those bouncy balls!

The price is right

My financial five year plan.

"ASHLEY, COME ON DOWN!"

Of course Bob Barker will be making a come back just for my episode.

Housewife

First off I want to apologize to all you fighting feminist, but right now all I aspire to do is to become a housewife.

HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE
Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954


Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Rain

Believe it or not it rains in seattle. I love it. It makes me feel a little less pathetic about not going out quit as much as I should be. That and it puts me right to sleep when I take my two middle of the day naps.

Shark Week

WHAT I LEARNED DURING DISCOVERY CHANNEL SHARK WEEK

1. 
   
   NEVER under any circumstance go in the water! Unless it is your bath water, but even then proceed with caution. ( Do not think you are safe in a lake or a pool, some one may have thought it was funny to put 5 or 6 of them in there.)


2. 
   
   Bruce from the Finding Nemo is most definitely a GREAT WHITE (formally Warren White)


3. 
   
   If I ever come into possesion of a shark he will be named Earl.

Norton

I miss these two. Norton the ball hoarder and stacy the badmitten playing mad women!